Kids Today Lack Self Discovery

When I was a kid, eons ago, I would tell my mother I was going down to the end of the block to visit with a friend. I already knew the house rules about when to be home for meals and how long I could stay.

She would tell me okay and I would be off. When I got there, that mother would call my mom and tell her where I was. This sort of back and forth happened because we had friends in the area and the mothers knew each other.

So there was trust and the understanding was, the kids could also decide to come back to my mom’s place and she would be just as accommodating. Mothers did not hover, they just lightly supervised and the kids were allowed to create their own fun.

We also had to join my folks when they went to visit friends whether they had kids or not. We were expected to let the parents talk and make our own entertainment. That meant periods where we were just observing and learning how our parents interacted in the world.

That meant we could ask questions on the car ride home where we found out what was being discussed and what some things meant we did not understand. That is one of the ways we learned, by observation.

We also went on joint holidays with one other family who had kids and we enjoyed our camping sessions the most. We kids would build forts of beach wood or fallen logs, go looking for sea shells or berries in the woods and we did a lot of pretending which expanded our worlds.

Today’s parents hover over their kids constantly and do not let them explore. You can still let kids do their thing together so they learn how to get along with others and find new ways to discover the world around them without being right next to them.

As long as you can see them and others are with them, they know to be in you view and can learn to handle their periods of boredom. Finding out who you are is important and discovery is part of that.

This is also a way to teach independence. Your early years of teaching your kids has to kick in when they are a bit older but they need to try things on for themselves. Then your messages should guide them and they will know you trust them to comply because there will be rules and consequences.